One Year And Counting.

PLAYTIME OBSERVATION.

Child psychiatrists have hypothesized all kinds of theories on how the development of a child and what they do during their “playtime” is related to a deeper significance.  Freud said that everything a child does is part of a larger search for the satisfaction of libidinal desire, Erikson believed that each stage of development was focused on overcoming conflict, Bandura saw child’s play as a way to learn new behavior from observing other people, where as I tend to agree with Skinner’s theories in that during playtime when a child takes their toys out from where they are stored, throw them, and not put them away can be broken down into three key observations:

  • That the child takes their toys out from where they are stored
  • They throw them.
  • They do not put them away.

Proving B.F. Skinner's Third Theorem Of The Messius Infantus

BENCHMARK #455.

Maisie has now learned how to help out in the kitchen.  She helps her mom load the dishwasher by pulling everything out as it is loaded, and, like her toys, throwing everything she pulls out across the room.  Then she assists further by climbing up on the open door and jumping up and down.

Found guilty of dishwasher assault.

TWO THINGS HAPPENED TODAY.

  1. I realized my little baby is now a little girl
  2. I worked out at the club, went into the locker room, took off my socks and shoes and walked into the showers with my gym shorts and shirt on.

 

MAISIE’S BAPTISM .

Walking into St. John’s Catholic Church I kept waiting for alarms to go off and shouts of “Episcopalian in Hall.”  It didn’t happen.  Instead we were shuttled from the back of the church to the front of the church and given explicit instructions on what we were to do and say at the real baptism on Saturday night.

Unfortunately Maisie didn’t want to listen to what we were to do and say on Saturday Night and instead wanted to get on the ground to knock over some Jesus statues.  So in turn, I didn’t quite catch all the instructions.  Thus when Saturday night did finally I had a small problem remembering the script:

QUESTION:  Who gives this child for baptism?

MY ANSWER:  uhhhh, Jesus?

ANSWER I WAS SUPPOSED TO GIVE:  We do.

 

QUESTION:  What are you here for?

MY ANSWER:  Pancakes.

ANSWER I WAS SUPPOSED TO GIVE:  Baptism

Then I followed everyone around, lowered Maisie into the Baptism Tub (I also missed the part where you call it the Baptism Font), and watched as Maisie became officially baptized.

 

BANANAS + CASHEW BUTTER = ?

This morning Aimee, tried to feed Maisie some bananas topped with cashew butter.  When Aimee walked out of the room, I told Maisie it was bananas and poop.  She wouldn’t eat it.

 

SOMETHING I CONVENIENTLY FORGOT TO MENTION.

A couple months ago, I was changing Maisie’s diaper and lost the cap to the Desitin.  I searched the changing table, the floor, the bed, the crib…couldn’t find it.  So I figured it had gone to that place where lost socks and dollar bills go.

Until the next morning.

When I found it lodged between her butt and her diaper.

Sorry kiddo.

 

MAISIE, THE GREAT DESTRUCTO.

I feel sorry for the poor toys that end up here.  The songbook that came with the Sesame Street music player started out with 24 pages when if first arrived.  Now it has three.  The Noisy Farm book has lost its “What does the furry duck say? Quack Quack” flap.  So you just have a picture of two baby ducks with no explanation.  The Peek A Boo Zoo book has lost two of its most prominent Peek-A-Boo’s, one covering the panda, and the other covering a frog.  The Playskool Mail Carrier has various parts scattered about in three different rooms.  And ever since the hammer incident, the talking phone now starts jabbering away like its demon possessed.

“1, 2, 3 call a friend to elephant wants you to (ring, ring) where is the message for you (ring) 7, 3 goodbye.”

I don’t think she means to beat up on her toys, they just happen to be fragile, emotional creatures.

The toy police have been called.

 

SOME MORE PICTURES OF MAISIE FOR PEOPLE WHO ENJOY THAT SORT OF THING.

Waking up Titanic style in her bedroom

Wearing sideways tomato soup lipstick by Maybelline

Riding the Zebra all Dennis Hopper upside-down like

And shapeshifting as "Daddle."

 

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