Maisie doesn’t just say Da Da like a normal kid would. It’s Da Da with the emphasis on the last syllable. You know, like a precocious French schoolchild…
It makes me feel very continental, so much so that I am also doing some syllable-emphasis-changing of my own. I no longer say Bud Light, but rather…
BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN.
Maisie is back in the crib. She’s not sleeping in it of course, but rather jumping up and down wildly while listening to Wheels On The Bus. She jumps so crazily that for a minute you think this particular recording of Wheels On The Bus may have some veiled meaning to certain kids. Like “Wheels On The Bus Go Round and Round, Round and Round, Round and Round” is infant secret code for BABY ANARCHISTS, JUMP UP AND DOWN WILDLY IN YOUR CRIB NOW!!! But then same thing happens on One Potato, Two Potato, so there you go.
BREAKFAST AS IT WAS MEANT TO BE.
Aimee took off to Vegas with all her East Coast Mob Wife friends, and Maisie and I hung out for four days together. During that time we did many enjoyable things, but the thing I think she enjoyed the most was my new breakfast creation Breakfast Cheesebread. Here’s how you make it.
- Order a cheese pizza the night before
- Serve the next morning as Breakfast Cheesebread.
- Serves ten.
I DREAMED A DREAM I HAD CLEAN CLOTHES…
Sometimes you know things are a bad idea, but you do them anyway. Like on the way to the Athletic Club, Maisie and I decided to stop at McDonald’s and eat in the car. Of course when Maisie eats in the car, you hope most of what is eaten ends up in her mouth. But within minutes, hamburger was on her pants, fries were scattered all over the back seat and chocolate milk covered her face, her hair, her neck and every piece of clothing she had on that day. So that by the time I dropped her off at childcare at “The Club, she looked like the little poor girl from Les Miserables, face dirty, hair in clumps and clothes stained with Happy Meal grease. These are the things that happen when Aimee leaves town for four days.
VARIOUS THINGS MAISIE DOES THESE DAYS
- Holds her hand up to her nose when her diaper needs immediate attention (otherwise known as a “stinky”)
- Does her own version of Love A Lever (after the song on Sesame Street with Sutton Foster). Whenever Maisie holds her silverware with both hands horizontally that means she wants to watch the Love A Lever segment from Sesame Street Episode #4231 We have watched the Love A Lever segment from Sesame Street Episode #4231 at least 173 times.
- Hides things like phone charging cords, plums, defibrillators, spare keys, real keys.
- Smells pictures of flowers whenever she comes across them
- Uses her plate for the first couple minutes of every meal then dumps everything into her high chair tray.
- Eats a cheeseburger cheese first, then pickles, then burger patty, then bun, then ketchup.
INTRODUCING VIDEO, WILL WONDERS EVER CEASE!